In continuation post SCAD part V. It was now the end of March 2018 and here I was counting down the days to explantation. Believe you me; I didn’t know what to do with myself. “What does one do after a roller coaster year like this”?. I was giddy with joy and found it difficult to contain myself. I didn’t know what life had in store for me, but at least I was being given a chance to find OUT; through the miracle that is God/Allah.
On April 3rd, 2018 I was explanted of my miracle gift that awarded me this second chance on life LVAD Heartware. I bless the creators of this innovative piece of equipment. You are truly living angles.
My explantation processes was not all roses and sunshine. I had two open year surgeries in a matter of a week. The first one was to explant the LVAD, which was both risky and never racking because none knew how my heart would respond the explantation. I feared that maybe 40-45% ejection fraction ( the hearts capacity pump blood to the body) was artificially high and during the explantation, we would all learn that my heart is, in fact, a lot weaker than calculated, being a patient with no medical background I feared this possibility tremendously. However, I trusted my team of doctors, they were the best in the world for this particular field of practice, and I thanked them daily for the blessing to be their patient. The explantation surgery went well WOW what a blessing it was to wake up in the recovery room surrounded by my favorite people; This process of open heart surgery was no longer new to me, I had been here before, and all the nurses knew me by name, it was nice. I had been incubated ( a long tube that helps you breath )as usual during surgery, the day after surgery the tube got taken out. Shortly after this process, my health started to decline, after much assessment through x-ray, CT scan and ECG test the doctors learned that I was suffering from internal bleeding and possible infection at driveline exit (where electrical wire connected to my heart used the body) before the LVAD got decommissioned. I will attach a picture below showing what I mean.
Due to the extent of my internal bleeding I needed to go back into ER for another open heart surgery. This third open heart surgery the sternum (chest bone) wasn’t cut open. The surgery went well. However, It impacted me more emotionally; I cried uncontrollably after seeing the new surgical site. My chest looked like it was stitched up by Frankenstein, I was traumatized by the sight. The extent of my sadness did not make sense to anyone because to everyone it looks ok, I’ve had an open heart surgery before. However, to me this one was different, I felt abused, maybe it’s because of all the suppressed emotions I was not aware of through past ten months.
Whatever the reason that last surgery emotionally hurt differently, even to this day the site stands out to me more than all of my many many scars.
Moreover, I think it will always emotionally hurt differently and wish it did not.
