In continuation from SCAD part IV. after the news, I received…I put all of my hopes and prayers into wishing and hoping that my heart will get stronger. The strength of my heart function was going to be tested with a test called left heart Catheterization. Where small surgical wire is put in the main artery in the neck and navigated all the way into your heart chambers, where your heart pressure is measured while the LVAD the machine that is keeping you a life is slowly turned off or as low as possible to test your internal heart pressures. Moreover, that is not all while the wire in your neck you are required to get off the surgical table and go for a run, for 6 minutes. When the doctors first informed me of this test I was both scared and thrilled at the possibility to proof that I could live without the LVAD because I couldn’t imagine risking another stroke.
After two-three weeks of counting down, it was finally the day I had been waiting for. The chance to prove myself and to the doctors, the opportunity to give myself the best chance possible. I only had one chance.
Can you imagine the possible hight of anticipation left alone fear of fainting on the surgical table because your only thing keeping you alive is getting turned off slowly? Oh My God is the word.
I remember that day with such clarity. I was woken up by the nurses at 4:30 am to take a bath with a Chlorhexidine sponge like so many other times. This orange antiseptic sponge was no longer a mystery to me. After showering, I got ready for the best or worst day of my life, once again.
I prayed constantly, asked everyone came across to pray for me wish me well. The hospital porter came and took me to Catheterization lab at 5 am. by this time, I was internally hyperventilating, tired out of mind because I hadn’t been able to sleep due to anxiety, and couldn’t risk sleeping pills.
I got on the surgical table, in the Cath lab, in order to continue the procedure. The nurses and doctors came to wish me well and encouraged me. I really needed it I was scared out of my mind.
The Cathorization lab stress test requires that once the Cath is in your heart chambers, the doctors fold up the sterile blue or green cloth with Cath entered the neck and while patient runs or walks as fast as they can without harming themselves. As I did the procedure, all of my transplant and VAD team watched assess how I responded to the test. While a therapist walked with a timer next to me. The test was 6 minutes long. The longest 6 minutes of my life.
After the six minutes were, I was required to rush back onto the surgical table as fast as I could so that the doctors could once again measure the pressures in my heart. The calculation done would determine what course of action my medical team would take.
I am gleefully delighted to inform you that I ran like my life counted on it which it did literally. I ran so fast the therapist timing me was out of breath. The process thrilled me to no end; I was flying through the test that consumed my mind for the past three weeks. The successful results of this test meant the world to me. It defined the difference between life and living. I wanted to live, to take showers whenever I wanted not twice a week I wanted the energy to run around with my baby when he started walking. I wanted the gift of life and motherhood. I wanted to not plug into the wall at night fear the possible risk of the electricity going out no matter how low the risk. I wanted to be able to not worry about my batteries dying or carrying the weight of the controller and six batteries where ever I went. I wanted to be able to make a choice once again in my life. I wanted to be able to sleep on the left side again, to cuddle with my husband at night, to sleep on my stomach to wear dresses again. I just wanted good health back.
After the Cath lab stress test, it took the different medical teams a week to consult with one another and do the calculation. The following week at 8 am one morning my VAD team came in to see me. Moreover, informed that although my cath lab test was not the best they have ever seen, the team had made a decision to explant me from the LVAD. I scream out of joy, was I hearing what I thought I was hearing. OH MY GOD. I was getting explanted aka the LVAD was externally going to be removed. WOW. I couldn’t imagine my ears; they said that they had never seen anyone run that fast in all their years of practice, I below them away? So I had to ask the big question, “What was my heart function now”??… The head doctor informed me it was 40%-45% from September 9th, 2017 to late March 2018 my heart had gone from a mere 3% to 45% wow can you scream hallelujah. I did, and danced my best dance in front of my entire medical VAD team. Best day of my life. Now all I had to do was wait for an explanation date.
to be continued in SCAD part VI
