In continuation of the previous post SCAD part II.
After being informed that my heart function was at a 3%; the only option I was left with was to get open heart surgery. When the doctors shared this with me all I kept thinking was I left my house on August 20th 2018 to give birth and now here I was in ICU and 7 heart attacks later I was left defeated, not being able to breast feed, unable to breath experiencing excruciating pain only left with the option of another surgery in a matter of 3-weeks.
The evening of Friday August 9th 2017 I went into surgery in shock and in a daze. The following day I woke up from a induced coma to seeing a heart open wide covered with a cloth as my blood got pumped outside my body. I was incubated and my only day to communicate was through writing for the next two weeks. During this period I experienced the worst nurses I would come to know. But, thank god for my husband who never left my bedside in those days.
During this period I remember waking up one day and not being able to hear or see. I woke up blind and death. After half an hour of not being able to hear I started hearing again. I started screaming “I can’t see, I can’t see” a family member who was with me starting praying for me by reading the Quran as I was rushed to CT scan. slowly I started seeing again after another half an hour. For the next 5 months I had difficulty seeing fully.
As much as it was scary to learn that I needed an open heart surgery, deep down in my heart I was reliefed that mental stat was not jeopardize. But temporarily going death and blind shook me to my core. I feared the possible reality of never getting to hear and see again. Temporarily the medical state of my heart was a distant faint reality.
On September 11th 2018, I went back into surgery for the third time to get implanted with an LVAD heart ware brand.
I remember when I first got the LVAD I cried and cried because I was so weak I could barely and here I was permanently attached to a controller and two batteries that weighed 5 pounds, with caesarean and two open heart surgeries. I would constantly ask the nurses to carry it for me every time I got up to use washroom or change positions.
The orientation into LVAD device was so scary that I cried constantly. and here is why, as much as the LVAD is a blessing from god it also requires a complete life change. With an LVAD you are told not to physically fall, not eat some particular green leafy vegetables, only shower twice a week, and changing the battery every 6 hours. And drink two liters of water.
In addition, to these restrictions I was constantly forgetting to carry the LVAD controller bag with me, I would get up and walk away only to feel the tug on my stomach reminding me about my new life.
By mid December 2017 I was adapted to my new life and completed in hospital rehabilitation and was discharged for home. I was static for the first time since August 20th 2017 I was finally going home. Every time I think about this time period I get emotional. I was finally after months of being hospitalized I going home to be a mother to my baby.
When I got discharged I was so happy to be home, to get the opportunity to bond with my baby, to be back in my own bed even though I had sleep sitting up and needed to plug into wall.
But that did not last long, by late February 2018 I was not feeling well again. I woke up one morning shortly after I got back my driving privileges planning to pick up a friend from the air port. As I got dressed to leave I started feeling sluggish, I went upstairs to talk to my husband who said you do not sound normally I don’t think you should drive, I said no I am just feeling tired. As I continued to get ready to leave my husband noticed I was drooling uncontrollably but I couldn’t feel it but my vision was getting blurry. I called the hospital which informed me get to the hospital for assessment. I got re-admitted into the university hospital and rushed in for a CT scan.
The scan showed that I had experienced a minor stroke, few days later after the first incident; while I was talking on the phone the phone dropped from my hand and I had lost all mobility from the arm. I started screaming and yelling for my nurse; I was so scared I started hyperventilating and crying. I was rushed for another CT scan. Once again the CT scan showed a small hemorrhage deep in my brain. It was too far to reach but it was evident to my doctors that the LVAD was causing me to have mini strokes.
Now we were left with the of “what do we do now” the LVAD was to save my life but it was now giving me strokes.
This post will be continued in the next post SCAD part IV.
